Murder of Crows Vigor

Step right up, ladies and gents! Step closer—but not too close—lest the MURDER OF CROWS take a liking to your lovely eyes!

Straight from the fine folks at Fink Manufacturing, purveyors of progress and masters of menace, comes a tonic so terrifyingly effective it’ll have your enemies flapping, flailing, and fleeing before you can say “Nevermore!”

With one dainty sip, you’ll gain the uncanny ability to summon a swirling storm of cawing chaos! That’s right — unleash a murder of crows so vicious, so vengeful, they’ll peck your foes into pitiful submission! Your enemies won’t just be harmed — they’ll be humbled.

Too many ruffians rushing your way? Charge it up! Lay a Crow Trap that sits silent and sinister, waiting for some unsuspecting scoundrel to wander by. The moment they do — POOF! — feathers, fury, and fear!

And that’s not all! With proper application and refinement, your fallen foes may even rise again — not as men, but as traps of talons and terror, reborn in service to your sinister genius. The battlefield becomes your aviary, and every poor fool who crosses your path becomes just another feather in your cap!

Whether you’re clearing crowds, countering Handymen, or simply looking to make an impression, Murder of Crows is the thinking man’s weapon of mass distraction. Perfect for reloading, retreating, or reveling in pure pandemonium!

So don’t just fight your battles — flock to victory!

Drink deep, my daring friend, and remember:
“When you command the crows, even death must bow!”

— Another miraculous marvel from Fink Manufacturing: Taming the wild, one wing at a time!