Possession Vigor

Step right up, Columbia’s finest citizens, scholars, and scoundrels alike! Have you ever wished that others would finally see things your way? That your enemies might, just for a moment, lend a hand to your noble cause? Well, wish no more! For Fink Manufacturing proudly presents a miracle of mind and machinery — POSSESSION!

That’s right, friends! With a single sip of this shimmering serum, you hold dominion over man and machine alike! No longer must you plead, persuade, or punch your way through life — simply will it so! Watch as vending contraptions open their coin-filled coffers at your command! Witness mighty automatons turn their guns from foe to friend! And when you’ve refined your palate with the Possession Aid Upgrade, even the hearts and minds of men bend to your influence!

Picture it: the enemy’s finest soldier, once snarling and defiant, now fighting for you! And when your dominion fades? Why, they kindly remove themselves from further service — permanently!

But don’t stop there, oh ambitious alchemist of control! Hold down that vigor and cast forth a Possession Trap — a shimmering snare of psychic power. When the unsuspecting stroll too near, they fall instantly under your spell. Machines, men, Patriots, or pests — all can be coaxed into serving your every whim (with a few minor exceptions; even miracles have fine print).

Running low on Salts? No fear, my thrifty friend! With Possession for Less, your influence stretches farther and costs less — a true bargain of the modern age!

So whether you seek peace, power, or a pocketful of pilfered change, remember:
“Why fight your enemies… when you can make them fight for you?”

Step right up and take control of your destiny — and everyone else’s!
POSSESSION — the genteel art of command, bottled for your convenience!

— Another shimmering wonder from Fink Manufacturing: Refining the soul, one sip at a time!